Ha Ha's and Yeah Right's...

So, like I said, I've been digging around in old writings, documents and etc.

For fun, I looked up my year end review from last year (2007) which was submitted shortly before the lay off and dissolution of my department. Here is a brief excerpt:

"In this next year (2008), I look forward to opportunities to continue to prove myself as well as to gain exposure to a different spectrum of employees and potential mentors, through thoughtful upward networking. It is my plan to continue to excel in R6 and to establish a finely tuned budgetary machine so that these processes in Strategic Operations become seamless."

So...let's evaluate 2008 based on this statement:

• I had opportunities to prove myself...outside of the company...at home in the garden.
• I did gain exposure to a different spectrum of people...no employees...no true mentors...but I did get to associate with friends and family a lot more than I would have. The babies (niece and nephew) and I are very well acquainted. We've learned new words, played in the dirt and picked flowers, gone swimming, read books, found our bellybuttons, thrown a few outstanding tantrums and laughed and smiled a lot.
• Upward Networking...yeah...hmmmm...not so much.
• As far as excelling in and establishing a finely tuned budgetary machine...well...since we are down to a one employed adult household, the budgetary machine is pretty tight that's for sure! LOL
• Seamless operations...still working on that...gonna have to get back to you on that one.

Things not mentioned, but that were a benefit...

• I really had a great opportunity to wind down a bit, no doubt this was a good thing health-wise.
• I enjoyed the home we moved into a couple of years ago...got better acquainted with it, and got to know the neighborhood and community a lot better.
• I was able to volunteer for the big community 4th of July extravaganza, which I would not have necessarily been able to do before.
• I had a lot of time to redirect my mind, thinking about where I want to go during these next few years.
• I also read a lot which is always a delight.
• I enjoyed my family much more than usual...Not so stressed=happiness...LOL

For sure there has been a tremendous amount of change this year. From full, 60 and sometimes 70 hour work weeks, and a daily 2-hour+ commute, tremendous pressure to perform, leadership opportunities, presentations, activities and volunteerism in the work place...all of which I did enjoy for the most part...to the pressure of being let go and all of the feelings and emotions that go with that (am I a failure? how do I now define myself? what am I going to do? where am I going to go? Yippee! Boo!), all of the concerns and worries around money, budget and providing for your family and maintaining your current lifestyle...all of that is fairly weighty stuff.

Not to mention the ongoing job search in a tight economy & job market. That piece of the picture has played out quite differently than I expected.

So 2009, while starting out fresh and new, still managed to drag some of the old and tiresome worries into it from 2008. I do have high hopes for 2009 but 13 days in and it has already been a lot of work. Getting this money/job weight taken care of will really be a significant improvement and I'm interested to see how it will play out.