On a day of no consequence my desk phone rang at work. It was my grandparent’s number so I picked it up. The following conversation took place, in Portuguese, and is forever seared in my mind.
**Note: Please use a Latvian or even a Russian accent when reading the part of my Grandpa. If you don't know what that is...a mildly Dracula-esque accent will do.
Grandpa: Trrrracy, I want to talk to you about verrrry delicate subject.
Tracy: O.k. what’s up?
Grandpa: Why do you not have a baby?
(Well alright then...straight to the point...)
Tracy: My girl guts don’t work Grandpa.
Grandpa: I have been thinking about this and I have a solution. We know people. They sent their daughter to Mexico and she came back pregnant.
(Surprise...pause...digest...Did he really just say "Mexico"???)
Tracy: O.k. Grandpa. They did, huh? Good for her.
Grandpa: I have the doc-torrr’s name. You can take the bus down into Tijuana. Then on the corner of Calle Numero 7, you know, street #7, there is a doctor there who is very successful with getting women pregnant.
(my Tracy thought..."I bet he is...corner of Calle 7 indeed...")
Tracy: He is, is he?
(My eyebrows are so far up into my hairline at this point you can’t even see them.)
Grandpa: Yes! Very successful. You should make a trrrip.
Tracy: O.k. Grandpa. Take a bus into Tijuana, go to the corner of Street #7, …I can get pregnant. O.k. Thanks for thinking of me.
Grandpa: I love you!
Tracy: Yeah…I love you too Grandpa.
*****
To this day, several years later, this remains one of the more interesting and entertaining grandparent stories...of which there are several.
I always thought it was interesting that the old man couldn't spot me a ride himself down into Mexico and that he thought I should hop the Greyhound Express and head into a foreign city of ill repute to try and get pregnant alone...well not really alone...the doctor at the corner of Street #7 was apparently well equipped to hook a sister up.
Anyway...good times...you can't make this stuff up. ;)
Somebody Else's Picture...credit to them, whomever they may be.
How I feel after throwing a party...
2 comments:
I have always found that Men who have become Grandfather's are amazing Men.
Ha ha!!! If only it were so easy, right?
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