Epic Fail

HAH!
"You can't place faith in material things. Material things will fail you."
Thank you Machines of Loving Grace...I should have listened.

X. System of a Down. Rage Against the Machine. Limp Bizkit. Against Me. The Clash. The Offspring. +44. CKY. Drive-By Truckers. Everclear. The Misfits. Nine Inch Nails. Rammstein. The Rasmus. Stabbing Westward...

What do they have in common? They all numb and take the pain away...just enough to take the edge off while you cope.

"What drama now?" You may wonder...well...truly it was calamitous.

My external hard drive had an epic fail. Epic as in irreversible, not retrievable, massive amounts of data lost. I know, I know...only as a back up right? Yeah...well there always ends up being something on there that doesn't exist anywhere else. And even if it's not the only place, to recollect the data, what a pain in the ass.

I should have just left that little damn silver box downstairs on the main computer...which is still non-functional. I shouldn't have thought "Oh hey, why recreate the wheel? I believe I have already prepared a presentation on mentoring...it's a few years back while at another company, but I can tweek it to fit the new corporation." Right? Wrong.

I should have let it be. I should have recreated the wheel. I should have done the work from scratch, because then I would still be in complete and total blissful ignorance and my presentation would be done. I wouldn't be listening to System of a Down...devil music by the way...trying to focus and get this crap done at 11 p.m. When I had hoped to be in bed by 10 p.m. tonight...you know...big day and all tomorrow.

Instead...here I sit...pissed off, upset--devastated really, teary, smeared mascara and burning eyes, all while trying to focus and think about "How to be a Positive Role Model."

With the adult words that ran through my head and are still making the periodic appearance...I am not a stellar example right now...unless it is a most excellent specimen of what a human being looks like when they are thinking about the voluminous amounts of data that are now lost, or need to be scrounged back from old cds and zip discs and old camera memory cards...oh yeah kids...it's a bad task I have ahead of me.

Maybe I should just pretend like they all caught on fire and are irretrievable. Maybe I just start it over from scratch.

Recouping it professionally is some ridiculous amount of money--$1500 or something outrageous...not because that's the actual price...it's just the highway robbery that they can charge because some people are desperate enough to pay for it.

This whole episode, aside from puking, makes me want to go back to typewriters, notebooks, and film. What a mess.

I've been periodically weeping over the keyboard like a broken hearted child. Dammit doesn't cover it. Stabbing self in own eye, not satisfying nor productive. Not having good luck with computers this summer. Need a sugar daddy to buy all new equipment...I make excellent Brazilian food...any takers?

Shit.