If you can't play nice, keep your hands off of the kids.

I have been very disturbed by the things I see in the world regarding children and youth of late. Where do I even begin? China: the ongoing infanticide of baby girls; England: padding bikini's for children; US: bullying, cruelty and murder in our youth; Thailand: child slavery and prostitution...

And it's not like these are new issues that I have been previously unaware of...but daily there are new stories, new extremes, nuances and new additions to this streaming pile of filth and abuse committed against children and youth.

The blurring and graying out between what is right and wrong, between what is socially acceptable and what slowly creeps into acceptance, all contributes to the degradation and maltreatment of those in our communities who don't just deserve, but require, our protection.

The weak, whether they be children, youth, the elderly or the mentally and physically challenged, all need our eagle eyes and sharp tongues when something goes wrong or looks to be heading that way.

Children, youth, adults--none of them can be permitted to roam around in unruly rabid packs chasing and persecuting, tormenting and teasing, physically abusing and damaging others. We are each responsible for our people--our families--our communities. If someone you love does something wrong, just because you love them doesn't mean they get a "pass..." for their behavior. You can love and still punish and discipline. By making every person an exception for their bad behavior does nothing to improve the situation.

There is no law that can be passed to eliminate the abuses and behaviors. The only thing that can truly impact this type of criminality is vigilance, discipline and punishment by the general population. Not accepting the behaviors, speaking up, becoming involved, standing for something, being involved in your community, knowing the people around you, serving others and setting and implementing your standards in your own homes are the things that create permanent change.

I am not for a lawless land--but I'm also not for micro management through law. My point is that laws don't need to be made in excess for those who aren't breaking them to begin with. Laws need to be effective for corralling and addressing lawless, thoughtless and victimizing behaviors. Ratcheting down the rights of the common person who is a law abiding citizen is not a solution.

Case in point is the story of Torry-Ann Hansen from Shelby, Kentucky. She adopted a 7 yr. old from Russia and after running into, what she deemed as significant issues, typed up a letter, put some cookies and toys in a backpack and set his feet on the path of an international, trans-Atlantic journey back to Russia.

Regardless of whether the child has issues or not...YOU adopted him and he is now YOUR responsibility. You do not put a child, by themselves, on an international flight back to Russia with Return to Sender on the child. There is no Return to Sender. This woman paid someone $200 to pick the kid up??? The level of irresponsibility on the part of this woman is stunning.

I think it's a can of worms all the way around. Obviously children who have been institutionalized and abandoned are prone to pre-existing issues of every possible variety. However, the poor execution of judgment on the part of this woman has made a lot of trouble for anyone else attempting adoption from Russia. When performing international adoption you need to seriously and soberly think it all out. This woman is a contributor to the exceptionally high cost of adoption and, in my opinion, one of the core reasons that the adoption process is so outrageously complex and tedious. As a childless woman who would like to adopt but cannot possibly foot the $15-40K bill for adoption I find her choices outrageous and sad. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

A friend of mine added an additional dimension to the issue by saying when he needed adopting in his own country, and for all of their outrage with the U.S. now "where were the Russian families" before? Agreed my friend. Agreed. If you can take over his care now and people are clamouring to adopt him, where were you when he was alone and institutionalized along with all of the other children in the crowded orphanages all over the country? Why does it take an international incident for people to become aware of the plight that surrounds them? Why does it take someone else's mistake for people to see what is right there?

My issue is the "Return to Sender" action and not with the fact that she was having problems. Problems can be worked out one way or another--shipping a 7 yo to another country with a note "To Whom it May Concern" to solve that problem is not acceptable at all. No doubt she experienced a huge level of "buyers remorse" when all of the issues reared their ugly heads, but children are not cars or TV's and shipping them back to the factory is not a viable option. What if the child had been biologically hers? Then what? There are many ways to find a solution, additional abandonment of an already abandoned child is cold and rejecting in the worst possible way and holds no true, long-term interest in the welfare of a child that you adopted to make yours for life.

The international implications of her actions are significant and potentially jeopardize thousands of individuals. There are many good families, worldwide, who would love to welcome a child into their home and plenty who have and others who are in process for making this happen. By acting stupidly and thoughtlessly, she has placed many of these families in a potentially devastating situation.

Russia on the other hand, needs to settle down with it's anti-U.S. rhetoric. If you think the Cold War is over, think again. The walls may be down and people may travel, but in reality it has only taken on added dimensions and subversions. Russia still dislikes the U.S. and is continually looking for reasons to be offended and to inflame the popular sentiment of its people against the U.S. The entire adoption process between countries should not be jeopardized by one idiot woman who probably shouldn't have adopted anyone in the first place. If you truly have the best interests of the orphaned and needy children in mind, why would you threaten to suspend and freeze the existing process to a significant majority of good families and homes?

Russia claims that Russian children have been adopted and mistreated through the years. The numbers they have quoted are 17 children in 19 years. While the number should be 0...always, always 0, out of over 60,000 adoptions, the maltreatment and abuse cases should be dealt with on an individual basis and prosecuted as private and isolated criminal acts.

Another key concern is with the level of human trafficking that occurs in our world today, a lone child traveling this ridiculous distance is frightening. As a human being, never mind as the caregiver, how was this not a major concern for everyone involved?

As this child's guardian and mother, and as a nurse who no doubt is very aware of child abuse in all of it's guises, as well as psychological issues that can occur in plethora, her negligence is astronomical. And yes, I do believe her accountability corresponds to the training and schooling she received in her field as well as the fact that she is not an inexperienced 22 yo.

Of course there are always two sides to every story, but in the world and in society, not all actions are gray--there are actions that are right and actions that are wrong. This wasn't just a poor choice, this was a wrong choice. While I am interested in hearing her interview, I am skeptical as to what possible reasoning would justify this choice over so many others.

When it comes to child welfare and safety my tolerance for putting a child deliberately in peril is minimal to nil. My thought is she just wanted the problem to "go away" so she did--she made it fly away.