Are you Pre-40?

Image taken from: pt-pt.colourlovers.com

...So...I was informed that apparently I have reached that most illustrious and life changing age of..."Pre-40".

Now you may ask, what is "Pre-40?" as I did...and I will tell you, as it was told to me...

"well, it's happening this next year...its like when you are 12. You are a pre- teen and you start getting treated like a teenager and not a child. You are pre- 40 this year... Yeah, so no purple hair... Your 40's will be even better than your 30's!... Stay off the liquor and you will be just fine. 40s are still young. 50 is the prime of life. You have 10 years till you hit your prime."

Hear jaw drop.
Hear it snap shut.
Hear all kinds of things running through brain...some of them being adult words.
Hear silence as I contemplate it all.
Hear gears in brain grinding and reason agreeing, but not really in the happy fashion.

Now this all came about because of the photo of 1 of 2 haircuts that I was considering. One was somewhat conservative and the other a little more on the wild side (read soft black with just a smidge of purple). I asked "Why are you stifling my purple?" and the reply was "Because you're a grown woman and you need to choose your rebellions carefully."

That's a pause that refreshes isn't it? I am a grown woman, and given the state of things in the world today, it's true--I do need to choose my rebellions carefully. Everything I do impacts others, and while selfish and self-centered thoughts are all good and well (or maybe not), they are just that--selfish and self-centered and not to be arbitrarily acted on. My personal belief is that I do have a responsibility to the people around me to be a good example in all things as much as possible. I know there are a lot of people that I influence and have an impact on...not because I think I'm so fabulous or anything like that...just that I do interact with a lot of different people during the course of my day-to-day existence. Old people, young people, children...everybody. The distraction of crazed hair won't build things forward nor will it help people to view me as a professional, with-it woman.

Well, in the end point taken. I do concede. I don't really want purple hair so much as the idea of it sometimes. I do like being a grown up and being taken seriously. I don't have any inward or outward need for rebellion, I've just always kind of liked purple in all its guises. And then, there always is Halloween if I really feel the need. And if we're being honest, and I am, I've always thought the mohawk was a snappy, edgy look, but I never did that either and won't be, ever, that I can see. It's o.k. to let all of that go. Let it float away down the river of Could-have-been-but-never-will-be.

But back to the Pre-40 bit...It's funny now, but I can say I was not pleased at the time...I mean Pre-40? I had never really looked at it this way. I've loved my 30's, and I was thrilled to leave my 20's behind, especially the later portion which was hard and full of tests and trials. But this Pre-40 business? This isn't a sexy title. This isn't something you think you want to grow up and be. When you're 25 you're not thinking "Hey! I can't wait until I'm 40 years old. Wow, that'll be some awesome times! Woo Hoo!" Yeah. That's not something I have ever thought.

So who said it? Yeah...it was Beloved when I sent him the photos asking his opinion. I can always depend on him to lay it out straight, even when he knows I won't be thrilled with what he might have to say. But that is one of the things that makes this whole marriage bit work. Honesty wrapped up in love and logic in times of counsel and discussion.

I wasn't *really* going to do it, but in the smallest sense I did actually consider it for the briefest of moments...but at least I have this memorable moment to add to the "Memorable Moments" file of marital bliss!

BTW...fortunately for him, this was through chat...so the pause that hits...he was able to duck out of a good thwack to the arm...That look a wife can give a husband when she is not pleased, that if her eyes were laser beams he just might be a pile of ash...yeah...he totally missed out on that.

So...To all of you other pre-40 year olds out there...Without purple hair, but definitely considering that the 40's may be better than the 30's...I raise my glass of Alka Seltzer to you...may you age as it pleases you...and may you do it gracefully and with moments of delight!