The Other Humans on the Planet...

Today I had a shocking realization. Many teens do not know what being an "example" really means. In making my rotation to the different kids during homework time in our afterschool program I had the following retort to a posed question:

"What do you mean? What is a "good example"? How do I be that?"

This was a response to my question "Are you a good example to your siblings?" from one of my rough and tumble yet sweet 15 year olds.

There was a sincere look in the eye and a question on how to be those words. It was a one-on-one conversation at their desk that started with the straight "F's" they are getting and what can we do between now and the end of the school year to help get them up.

I'm a program manager for an afterschool program at a local inner-city junior high. Which means I get in everybody's business about behavior and grades and do a lot of tutoring as well as run afterschool activities.

At first I thought the kid was joking as a means of deflecting the question, but the look, the sincerity and the follow-up conversation confirmed to me what I could not believe to be true---being a good example was not a concept that this child was familiar with.

Reflecting back on it, how is it possible that children are growing up without knowing what a good example is? How can they be expected to make good decisions or to follow good role-models if they don't know the difference between right and wrong, between responsibility and irresponsibility for your own behaviors and actions or the simplest concept of choosing the right over the wrong?

This teen is not a bad kid. There are no learning disabilities. He is actually a bright young man. What is missing is a family culture of learning and self improvement, of discipline, and of engaging conversation about goals and futures and dreams and desires. This child has that look that tells you there has been too much yelling, too much mocking, too much anger, too much frustration, too much failure and definitely not enough hope.

When he said, "What is a good example? How do I be that?" I took the opportunity to talk about family and siblings and asked him "What is something good that you can show your little brother how to do?" After pausing to think, he said, very tentatively "Show him how to keep his room clean?" to which I replied with a big smile "YES! Absolutely! Showing someone how to work, how to keep something looking nice is very definitely part of being a good example."

My heart is aching for these children. They need so much, but you can't save all of them. It is not feasible no matter how much I would like to. So I just do my best, to make a difference every day with the ones who can absorb what I have to give--whether it is love, kindness, peace, tutoring or just a friendly smile.

Thoughts of which lead me right into the next set of thoughts, those being on God and the state of humankind...

Some people don't believe in God because there is such sadness, tragedy and wickedness in the world.

I don't think that testifies of a world---a universe---without God.

I think it merely shows that life is human and mortal and tragic, but that we have the capacity to improve it--to show the God-like nature we have within us to do great acts of service, to lose ourselves in selflessness towards our fellow human beings, to enlarge our abilities to love others that are less fotunate than ourselves.

No matter our own problems, there is always someone who is, or who has been, or who will be, whose life will be infinitely more tragic or more poorly off than our own. If instead of focusing on our own problems, and instead focusing on the life of another, even for a few moments, perspective can be regained.

If every one of us would rise to the occasion--there would be no poverty, or sadness, or abuse, or despair. But humans being the creatures that they are, this expectation is unlikely to be met across the board.

So, because of this, though I know it is not possible to save all of the humans on the planet through my actions, I just try to love and serve the ones that are within my small reach. I cannot look into the eyes of despair and not have my heart increase in love and desire to give this individual at least a moment of joy, or love, or peace. How can I have such an abundance of love and friendships and then not give it where it is not expected but most greatly required?

Love others--and be God's hands and eyes and ears and do good unto your fellow humans.